So I get sick sometimes and need, medicine who cares?

My relationship with antidepressants

I’ve been wanting to talk about my relationship with antidepressants for a while now, but never felt like I had the right space to share. Today, I’m changing that. Because if journaling has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes you just need to write it out.

Where It All Started-ish

Like so many of us, my mental health story took a big turn during the pandemic. Stress was at an all-time high, and panic attacks became a new, unwelcome part of my life. I decided it was time to get help, but looking back, my depression had probably been lurking in the background for years. If only I’d known that admitting I needed help didn’t mean I was broken...it meant I was human.

Getting Over the Stigma

There was a time when the idea of taking antidepressants made me feel uneasy, like it was some kind of personal failure. My brain, already low on dopamine, kept telling me I should be able to push through without help. 

But here’s the funny part, what finally snapped me out of that shame spiral was an episode of Broad City. Ilana tries to treat her depression using “SAD lamp”—one of those ultra-bright lights used to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder—and, of course, hijinks ensue. By the end of the episode, she has a revelation: there’s no need to muscle through her depression alone. She decides to use the tools available to her and delivers this iconic line: “So I get sick sometimes and need medicine, who cares?”

And just like that, a light bulb (no pun intended) went off. Who cares, indeed?

Finding What Works

Since then, I’ve come to realize that taking medication is just part of my overall wellness routine. I consider myself lucky that my medication works well for me. But antidepressants aren’t my only go-to. Yoga has been another big help. it’s where I find connection, confidence, and a sense of peace. That said, I’ll be the first to admit that when depression hits hard, even the idea of rolling out my yoga mat can feel impossible. On those days, getting out of bed or taking a shower is the real victory.

The Mental Heath Toolkit

The biggest takeaway from my journey? Mental health is all about having a toolkit with multiple options. It’s not one-size-fits-all. For me, that toolkit includes antidepressants, yoga, journaling, and a whole lot of self-compassion. Some days, I’m ready to flow through a yoga sequence with ease. Other days, just existing is enough, and that’s okay too.

At the end of the day, whether it’s medication, movement, or something else entirely, what matters is finding what helps you feel your best. 

So yes, “my brain gets sick sometimes and needs medicine.” Who cares? The goal is living a life that feels balanced, joyful, and true to who I am.

And if you’re figuring out what your own mental health toolkit looks like, know that it’s totally okay to try different things and find what works for you.

Because mental health is a team effort, even if that team is just you, your yoga mat, and your antidepressants.